Inheritance of the Lost

First of all, Miss Cheapist is so happy that Obama was elected the 44^th President of the United States. She will take a tremendous risk and say that her faith in democracy is restored, and she looks to the future reconnected with her own past idealism. The news of his victory also marked the end of her two- month long period of writer’s block, and she was finally able to finish this post.

With the stock market seeming to fall to the same odds as tugging the slot machines in AC and the profitability of real estate debunked, Miss Cheapist feels more confidently than ever that inheriting money is the only reliable way to get rich. However, acceptance of family money can also bring with it certain obligations and complicity, and as a result, cannot be over-analyzed or relied upon. If anything, the current financial crisis confirms that being really rich requires the exploitation of others, in effect, rendering all big money (old or new) somewhat dirty. Regardless, family money always will be highly valued and worth discussing because its influence (and absence) remains with us always; it begins with childhood narratives, evolves into adult hang-ups and with time, shapes retirement realities.

Miss Cheapist has noticed that in every family, children are given a certain message about money. More often than not, it is shrouded in mystery, and parents present themselves as either richer or poorer than they really are, with the hopes that it will cultivate a certain work ethic in their child. Those who fear that their children will become spoiled may lecture about how they must struggle to carve out a middle class existence and can still barely afford anything; all the while hiding the truth that they are indeed the ‘millionaires next door.’ Such parents promote anti-materialism and austerity plans, even charging market-value rent when a 30-something moves back home. Others, fearing their children will become anxious among peers with more spending power, reassure them that the coffers are well maintained, buy everything that “other kids have,” and promise that money will flow freely for generations to come—even when such security may not really exist. As time passes, new messages about money can emerge, depending upon what seems to motivate the descendant. Money is only doled out as an incentive or reward, while for others, the lesson of doing things just for the sake of contributing is emphasized, and as a result, material rewards are withheld. Some self-made parents may simply create distance between their own wealth and that of their children, taking greater pride in the possibility that their own tenacity and “tough love” will create another generation of Horatio Algers, and not complacent pleasure seeking parasites of the trust fund ilk. To Miss Cheapist, these are all different versions of the same mind-fuck that persists in the parent-child relationship, where control trumps all else, even when tinged with good intentions. Perhaps in a Part II installation of this post, she can bore you with various anecdotes about family money and the lessons learned--from Tori Spelling to her own peers who have inherited money as a result of family tragedy, the stories are far too extensive to tell here.

While an elite group of Gordon Geckos and their reptiles in training have sacked the country with 700 billion plus dollars of bad investments, the rest of us must wait helplessly to witness the true impact of this nasty “correction.” Is this really what we wanted? Will New York become affordable for ordinary working people, or does our reliance on these scions of industry now force us to tumble down with them? Will socialism reign supreme? Sadly it seems that the classes are so economically intertwined that a sort of family drama is playing itself out on a national scale: the fallen paternal figure and a second generation that must suffer the consequences. Seems many of us have become infantilized by the paternal negligence of a free market, and as we outgrow our illusion of rugged individualism, it’s very possible that our collective inheritance will drift even farther from reach.

On Hiding Privilege

Old School Hall at Punahou: to deny or embrace?

To the disappointment of those who believe that economic difference trumps all other identities, race and gender continue to define the Presidential race. Yet discussions of whether or not America ready for a Black President, or if a female candidate will promote the best interests of women only offer opportunities for speculation and delusional spurts of optimism. It seems that many Americans want a President who inspires their trust¸ and since no one wants to explicitly talk about race or age, questions about Obama and McCain’s class backgrounds surround both campaigns. Both have been called out for being too privileged to understand that ambiguous demographic of the “average American,” group becoming more important to woo as the economy speeds south.

Obama’s so-called ‘out-of touch’ comments about ‘bitter, gun-loving,’ working class white people were assumed to be a reflection of his elite education and lack of experience. McCain’s resume includes an heiress wife, a decorated naval family, and so many homes that he can’t keep count. McCain even had to placate voters with an absurd announcement of his own victim-hood: “Once I did not even have a kitchen table!” Obama represents his prep school experience in Hawaii as one where he was one of the only African-American males there, and instead of his education at Punahou being something that made him a member of an elite group, it helped form his racial identity where in the future, he could empathize with those who felt marginalized in society.

In spite of the fact that Obama has ignited a movement of people who were previously disenchanted with the system, as well as millions of others from many different backgrounds, politics and the social climate of this country demands that he play down his intelligence and access to education. Unfortunately this is a pressure that many minorities feel they must submit to in order to fit in, both on the playground and professionally. This is not an experience limited to minorities—after all, some twenty-somethings with trust funds adopt the urban vernacular for street ‘cred and volunteer in the third world to shed the stigma of a sheltered, privileged existence. Unfortunately, this habit of understating ones ability and fortune seems to have more negative effects for men of color, and for Obama, who is always seen as an exception to any norm, his privilege offers him contradictory liabilities and opportunities. That he has the resources to play down puts him on an even playing field with elite men like McCain, Bush and Gore, as his credentials help him to be perceived as “Presidential.” As a result, Miss Cheapist, in her novice attempt at punditry, would say it’s not worth it for him to be too humble…while being relatively new to the game works to his advantage, so does the experience that preceded this moment. Recently Miss Cheapist overheard an undecided woman voter stating what many are afraid to utter: “I know I should vote for Obama. Obviously he’s qualified because of he went to Punahou and Harvard, but I don’t know if I want to risk it.” While George Bush was somehow able to mask his genteel background and Andover education with a contrived Southern “folksiness,” Obama, and probably McCain as well, has to cultivate a different type of class identity that appeals those who, for whatever reason, find them out of touch. Fortunately, Obama, with his mixed race and cultural background, as well as his years as a community organizer, has earned a reputation of objectivity; a listener willing to look at new solutions. Ironically, this ability to see things from different points of view seems to come from being in the greatest position of privilege possible, something difficult and unnecessary to disguise.

Miss Cheapist takes in the campus.

Finally, it’s important to mention that downplaying the Punahou prep school experience is something shared by many alum, political hopefuls and otherwise. Whenever Miss Cheapist told others in Hawaii that she attended the elite institution, she was disdainfully mocked for attending the “rich white school,” and assumed to be a snob. She would hesitate to tell people where she went to school for fear that she would be pre-judged, or worse yet, harrassed. At the age of 16, her own driving teacher commented to her that the reason she failed the driving test three times was she was unable to “come down to our level, honey,” rather than a lack of comfort on the road. Even as an adult, it was assumed that she was unable to relate to others simply because she had the chance to attend an incredible school that boasted an Olympic swimming pool, a glass-blowing lab, fourteen tennis courts and Ivy League college placement. Yes, of course her schooling made her a snob who believed she deserved it all, but at the same time, she appreciated the opportunity she gained. She later came to learn that where you went to school is as random as what family you were born into, and really depended on what you made of your education. But humility does not require deception. An education is nothing to hide, especially for someone who does not have a legacy to fall back on, and needs all the help she can get. At first Miss Cheapist gravitated toward Obama because they shared a common experience, and he seemed to really understand the complexity of identity in the 21^st century. Now she realizes it is exactly his ability to reach the majority without necessarily identifying with them that made him so special.

In search of six figures

a spread of appetizers for dinner party discussed below

Recently, at a dinner party where everyone was drunk and well-fed enough to share a series of glib confessions, Miss Cheapist announced, “My goal is to make six figures.” Silence fell over the table, then laughter, until one of her friends, also a colleague, responded, “What are you going to do, sell crack to your students?” Readers, you know Miss Cheapist works in a humble profession—teaching—where few imagine room for growth or prosperity. Yes, some make more when they enter the tedium of administrative work, but they claim do it for a higher purpose, and not for the love of money. How telling that he felt she could only earn six figures as a drug dealer. Was this how he viewed Miss Cheapist’s potential as an individual, or did it reflect his low expectations for himself and others working in the same field? As guilt pervades the not-for-profit sector, Miss Cheapist often received the message that to truly serve others, she must abandon any dreams of adequate compensation. After being a seasoned professional, Miss Cheapist refuses to buy that argument. Although she too was once paralyzed with class guilt, “entitlement role models” taught her that in order to help others, she could not go cheap on herself.

One such role model was Miss Cheapist’s friend, L., who worked with her at a previous job as a fund-raiser. On the job, L. referred often to her marketing background, wielding her Microsoft Office chops and her ability to translate corporate vernacular into a lingo of not-for-profit self-improvement with great confidence and charm. But L.’s most inspiring achievement took place before she even started. Recognizing that she was accustomed to a particular standard of living, and aware of her own self worth, L. negotiated a salary that was higher than anyone else who worked at the organization, aside from the boss himself. At that time, it was a mere $46,000, but as not-for-profit workers are made aware of the fact that their salaries are the product of donations and as a result must hover below market rate, the amount, when leaked, made her the subject of great envy and distrust. Miss Cheapist was initially miffed by L.’s aggressive self advocacy because it seemed to devalue her own achievements, but over time, L.’s relentless work ethic and generous spirit won her over. Moreover, she realized that L.’s brave negotiation set the bar higher for everyone else at the job to be paid more.

In making L. an ally, Miss Cheapist learned a valuable lesson about the workplace: if you are effective and work hard, you should be able to ask for what you want. Many avoid demanding more from the workplace because they fear it will lead to employer harassment or jealousy from peers, and quickly they end up feeling bitter and exploited, unable to stand up for themselves. Ironically, although L. was able to secure her salary, her boss never let her forget how privileged she was to receive that amount, often accusing her of being too “corporate” and out of touch with the mission of the organization. It's six years later, and she has left that job, now holding a Master’s Degree and lucrative job offer abroad. Although nobody’s life is perfect, her trajectory offers important lessons for all. If your boss begrudges you a desired salary, your future with him/her is probably limited. Ask and you might get more: have your requests be denied and receive a little more information about how the job may be unsuitable for the long term. So many organizations, not-for- profit and otherwise, seem to suffer from huge turnover when workers feel their ambition subtly stifled and requests made for an improved work place unreasonably dismissed. More importantly, how can someone help others if they are constantly worried about money? Inevitably, corners will be cut, and people burn out.

Miss Cheapist is still brainstorming ways to reach her goal. Her own mother recently emailed her in a business-like manner, noting that as Miss Cheapist has yet to "make it," she should not feel entitled to any of the objects from her family home. Make your own money first, then ask your parents for help (because you won't really need it) was the official message of self-made, tough love. Since her mother is obviously the best arbiter of reality, Miss Cheapist feels even more motivated to apply herself, and come up with a get-rich-quick scheme. Perhaps by adding greater specificity to her ambitions, she will finally arrive. If you have a formula for success, please feel free to comment and offer details on the sacrifices and caveats found along the path to wealth. In the past year we have discussed downward mobility, fantasies and secrets (see past posts if just tuning in now). A relationship between all these themes is slowly emerging. But is Miss Cheapist moving in the right direction?